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More than a nap (control and rest)

Recently, a friend of ours serving in Vienna wrote about rest on her blog. One thing that really struck me about what she wrote was the idea that rest is more than a nap. As I read her post, I realized that real rest is something that has been a bit elusive for us.

The past year was intended to be one of rest. And certainly, we did rest. We took time out and spent it with family, the Word, and our church home. We were comforted and confirmed in our call to Kosovo. But at the same time, we were restless. There was a lot to DO. Plans to be made, paperwork to complete and prepare for the move, boxes to pack...the list most certainly goes on.

Now we are here in Kosovo. This is the place where God has called us to serve. And it seems that God is wanting us to rest here. But wait! This where we are supposed to DO.

We expected to hit the ground running. Rebecca and I had a plan that we would get out and find a house and car right away. We would get settled and then start doing what we could to reconnect with the various groups playing baseball.

It hasn't quite worked out that way. Life in Kosovo is much slower. And, to be fair, we are also quite dependent on friends who have other jobs and responsibilities, so they can't cater to our every need or be constantly available to help us find a home and car. Much of this is out of our control. We so much want to DO...but all we can do now, is BE.

As a result, we have spent a lot of our time just hanging out at the Smile Centre and going to a nearby shopping center for meals. We've been able to sit and talk with some of our friends who serve here at the Smile Centre. We've rested. I've been able to do some writing. More importantly, we've spent time in prayer, we've spent time in God's word. We've hung out as a family.

Certainly, there are some thing that we have needed to DO, but the time spent doing has not been as consuming as it could be. Rest is good...but I'm coming to realize that my issue is not with rest, it's a control thing.

We seem to have no control in terms of our life in Kosovo right now. We are aliens in a foreign land. We don't know the language, we don't have a car, we don't even have keys to the place we're staying at. We rely on others for a ride, getting food, and finding a home. We have no control over when we will go house hunting or car hunting.  We can't just run around staying busy to satisfy our need for control. Certainly we have some say in when and what we do. But, really, we don't control anything.

We are in some ways forced in to a period of waiting and rest, but more importantly a place where we understand who is really in control of all this.

And you know what? It's a good place to be. It's a good reminder that all we have and all we do is under the Sovereignty of our God. This is why we don't need to worry; this is why we have joy in the uncertainty. We know we're in the place where God has called us to be.

And that is enough.



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