a flood of memories...and a realization of the lessons I am learning...

I've been thinking long and hard about the last 4 years...replaying in my mind everything that has happened. The joys, the sorrows, the unexpected blessings. The hospital visits, the European adventures, the new experiences. The hellos, the goodbyes. The friends, family, and students who made all of these memories real.

Through this reflection I realize that there are a few lessons that I have been learning through it all.

Here's the three that I've been working through today...

1. Planning and expectations can lead you to end up missing the point

Ok...so planning is good. There's nothing like having a nice laid out itinerary for your journey. You've got to look at the map and understand the road ahead.  Knowing what to expect can help you prepare yourself.

Looking back at some of our blog posts from 3 or 4 years ago (and then the memories that come along with them) I am reminded how much our expectations of ministry in Vienna, and our life as a family have changed.

I think of all the times I got so caught up in the planning and implementation of the ministry that I lost focus of the reason we were called to minister here...and the thankful for God's grace each time to bring me back to His word.

These plans and expectations can be so good. But not when they take the place of God who is love...and that love that is perfectly good.

I also think of all the times I expected certain things to happen...but then was blown away by how God crushed my expectations with something better.

2. What's happening right now might be the experience that God uses to push you on to something else

This lesson has always come on the heels of learning the first lesson of planning and expectations. At this time last year we were not even thinking that we would go to visit Kosovo...let alone be called to eventually move there. Not a chance. I had a plan for student ministries at school, I expected to be at ICSV for the near future, and I was comfortable (for the most part).

But all of a sudden I found myself walking down a cobble stone road in a still destroyed portion of the old town of Gjakova. Enjoying the surroundings, hearing the Muslim call to prayer, and being struck with the possibility that this might be my home one day, for the Glory of God.

3. God is a God of rest...but not of inaction

So...at the moment, this could probably be lesson #1 for me. It's also the hardest one to for me to learn. I enjoy "working". But I push myself too hard and try to work too much. I get tired. I get cranky. I become absolutely ineffective. I lose track of who God has made me to be. But then I read this in Psalm 56.

You have kept count of my tossings;3

aput my tears in your bottle.

bAre they not in your book?

 Then my enemies will turn back

cin the day when I call.

This I know, that4 dGod is for me.

  In God, whose word I praise,

in the Lord, whose word I praise,

  in God I trust; uI shall not be afraid.

What can man do to me?

  I must perform my evows to you, O God;

I will render thank offerings to you.

  fFor you have delivered my soul from death,

yes, my feet from falling

gthat I may walk before God

hin the light of life.

Everytime I get lost in my exhaustion. In those moments when my tossings are innumerable and my tears are blinding, God grabs me. Right now in fact, I am crying tears of joy, relief, and fulfillment because the Casting Crowns song "praise you in this storm" came on at the exact point that I began this section. Coincidence? Or is it that my God is the God of all creation...even of iTunes radio algorithms?

The storms during our time in Vienna have been numerous; illness, financial hopelessness, Joe's death, "home"sickness...but the Lord has been our shelter...and He is the song I am singing...can you tell I am still listening to my iTunes radio playlist :)

God is real. God is love. Trust in his Grace. Live for HIS glory.